Tag Archives: James Corden

ITV…Did the Brits just invent a new award for One Direction?

20 Feb

The Brits is pretty much what you expect a host of stars, starlets, luvvies, media types, the full A to Z  of celebrity. Then you have the those they all came to see and be seen with the Brit nominees and the winners.

It was a good night for Emili Sande taking home the Brit award for British Solo Female Artist of the years and album of the year.  Other artistes who won were Ben Howard (Best British Breakthrough and Male Solo Artist), Lana Del Rey (Best International Female), Frankie Ocean (Best International Male), Black Keys (Best International Group) and Adele received her award over in America for Best Single.

Pretty much all the usual suspects picking up awards except that is for uber-boy band of the moment One Direction. Host James Corden spent a lot of the programme talking about them and mingling with them. When Talyor Swift made an appearance it did not take long for James Corden to head over to join them (well Harry Styles). A beaming open shirted Simon Cowell was close by, keeping an eye on his money spinning wards.  Generally they were the focus of a lot of attention.

Surely with all this focus they must be here to pick up an award, but as the awards were handed out one by one it looked like they were heading home empty handed. That was until out came Robbie Williams waddling up to the satge in a suit that fitted very snugly over what looks like the beginning of a very ample belly.

He announced the winners of the ‘Brit Award for Global Success’ and the winner? Yes One Direction. What? Where did that come from you might say?  ’Brit Award for Global Success’ where was that when Blur, Oasis, Cold Play and others were sweeping the world before.

Who knows but maybe in the minds of some these other artistes aren’t as ground breaking as One Direction. The lesson it seems is if the fans, and critics don’t want to show any love for One Direction, the Brits awards committee will.

Movies on TV….Lesbian Vampire Killers (BBC1)

8 Feb
Lesbian Vampire Killers

Lesbian Vampire Killers (Wikipedia)

Imagine if I you were a hormonal 17 year old lad and the star of a hit TV show that enthralled the nation and turned you into a star across the country.

Imagine if some film dudes came along, looking to cash in on your new found popularity and offered to make any film you like with you as the star. I can imagine a film like Lesbian Vampire Killers would be top of your list, but surely not if you are in your 30′s with thoughts of a serious career.

Well Matthew Horne and James Corden stars of hit comedy Gavin and Stacey did just that, leveraging their fame from the BBC3 cult hit into one of the worst films to grace our TV screens in a long while.

The premise is very simple, two lads find themselves in the middle of the Norwich countryside late at night and spend the next hour and half stitching together every conceivable horror film cliche.

From the darkly lit pub with a bunch of unfriendly, inbred looking locals warning the two lads to be wary. The priest fighting a lone battle against the forces of evil. A camper van of exceptionally fine looking Swedish girls happy to party with the boys. The absence of any women over the age of 25 (we can’t have any actresses not there for anything other than their looks and youth). The lipstick lesbian vampires. It’s all there

What was missing was a discernible plot that made much sense, even for an outlandish horror movie.

It turns out that somehow this little village has a curse that turns all women over 18 into lesbian vampires. The only thing standing in the way of their  total domination of East Anglia is the character played by Matthew Horne who unknown to him is a descendant of a legendary vampire slayer.

The boys party with the girls, the Swedish girls get killed or turned into vampires one by one, till we are left with the two heroes, the last of the Swedish girls and the final not-so-epic battle with the forces of evil at a graveyard.

If you have been out on the lash, and struggled home with a doner kebab stuffed with salad and lashings of chilli sauce you may well think this has Oscar winning potential, but when you wake up in the morning you’ll quickly realise the film was just slightly more memorable than the remnants of last night’s Kebab.