X-Factor ten things you will hear tonight

30 Sep

…cos you hear them every bloody year at the Judges Houses

  1. “It is not good news….[dramatic pause]….it is great news!”
  2. “[With pleading puppy eyes] This means everything to me…”
  3. “[Also with pleading puppy eyes] I have wanted this more than anything…”
  4. “[Look of professional concern from years in the industry] I am not sure who will buy your records…”
  5. “[Look of professional concern from years /months /days as an X Factor judge] I am not sure who will vote for you…”
  6. “I’m sorry….[dramatic pause]….but you’ll have to do it all again in the live shows!”
  7. “You’re such a risk….[dramatic pause]….but I am ready to take a risk tonight!”
  8. “I just don’t think you’re ready…[While gently holding the hand of the rejected contestant]“
  9. “[Earnestly raised eyebrows] What does this mean to you?”
  10. “[Through tears and an occasional runny nose] This could be my last shot….”



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