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I Am a Celebrity…I hope MPs are not making these calls on expenses.

12 Nov

I Am A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here (IAMACGMOH) has started and early indications going by the column inches and the coverage are the early “stars” of the show are Nadine Dorries and Helen Flanagan.

Nadine had earned the ire of a lot of her fellow members of parliament for swanning off to Australia for at least a few weeks and maybe much more. She doesn’t seem to be missed though

MPs and Cabinet ministers, including Communities and Local Government Secretary Eric Pickles, tweeted that they had voted for Ms Dorries to face the humiliating task.

 

Mr Pickles mocked her last week and said he will be voting to keep her on the programme. Asked last night on Twitter if he had voted for Ms Dorries to take part in the bushtucker trial, he replied: “Yes, phone on speed dial.”

 

MPs from all parties were tweeting throughout last night’s programme, the first in the new series. Chatham and Aylesford MP Tracey Crouch wrote: “Just received a Get Out The Vote message from the Whips #votedorries.”

 

Welsh Tory Alun Cairns added: “Official figures show that #iamacelebrity is the most watched programme in Westminster this evening.” Liberal Democrat Alistair Carmichael, MP for Orkney and Shetland, tweeted: “You have to think that if voting for Tories was this much fun in normal circumstances Scotland would have more than one Tory MP.”

Strictly versus X-Factor…Whats’s the nation watching

6 Nov

It is now an autumn TV tradition now. The head to head battle between Strictly Come Dancing and X-Factor.  For years X-Factor bigger, brasher and more “glittery” won at a canter.  Strictly though was a dogged foe, it was tenacious and arguably delivered a more consistent level of entertainment and it seems it is making a difference as Strictly has squeezed past, and stolen a lead on the X-Factor as the infographics below shows.

 

Strictly Come Dancing v X-Factor

Strictly Come Dancing v X-Factor

Lucy Spraggan exits the X-Factor

3 Nov

Lucy Spraggan has left the building! Well it was not totally unexpected. She been ill, She’d fallen out with the Producers over her antics with Rylan Clark and she had pretty much used up all her self-penned songs.

In a statement this evening. The X-Factor production team said

“Lucy isn’t well enough to perform this weekend so she has decided to withdraw from the competition.  We are all sorry to see her go and wish her all the best for the future. She has been a fantastic contestant.”

Lucy also released a statement saying

 ”I am gutted not to be able to continue on this journey but I’m not well enough to perform. To accept another free pass having missed last weekend would not be fair on the others in the competition. I wish them all well. I would like to express my thanks to everyone who has supported me. There is no way that this setback will prevent me from fulfilling my ambition. You’ll be hearing from me again very soon.”

The success on ITunes of the her songs which she performed during the auditions means she will probably have more chance than most to get a record deal. We’ll see how that develops.

 S2BUMBDYRTPQ

Aside

Strictly Come Dancing…. Reality TV Judge Funny Comment of the daaaayyyyy!

20 Oct

In homage to the Harry Hill’s much missed TV Burp show. I bring your “Reality TV Judge Funny Comment of the daaaaaaaaayyyyyyy!”

Len Goodman to Jerry Hall after her dance with Anton Du Beke to Simon and Garfunkel’s Mrs Robinson on tonight’s Strictly Come Dancing.

He started off his comments on the dance by saying it was more Upstairs Downstairs in some vague reference to the TV  drama from the 70′s before ending by saying to Jerry Hall “you have a problem upstairs but downstairs you’re quite neat and tidy”…Ooooh Matron!

He tried to plead innocence that he was referring to her footwork but the audience were having none of it and were in stitches. Saucy geezer.

X-Factor USA…unearths a diamond!

18 Oct

Before you watch either of these two videos just bear in mind she is 13 years. ‘She’  is  Diamond White and she has blown me away. I am sure in the deepest recesses of my wardrobe I have clothes older than her.

Incredible eh! and then after that she then goes and delivers another faultless performance at Boot Camp.

As great as she is I still think 13 is way too young for these shows, cos when it gets tough a 13 year old will simply not have the mental strength to deal with difficult situations that are bound to come along. I think 16 should be the minimum age. If she is this great at 13, imagine what she will be like at 16!!

X-Factor..It is “Rylan Style” as he is officially crowned this season’s clown.

14 Oct

We all know good clowns are entertaining, we also know the X-Factor is an entertainment show so no surprises that every season the series needs to anoint an entertainer to ensure that people don’t mistakenly label it as a serious music show.

In the past we have had Jedward, Wenger and Chico all X-Factor legends who fulfilled this role admirably. So this season’s big question was who will step into the role.

Well truthfully, it wasn’t really a big question as we all knew who the anointed one was. Step forward Rylan Clark . If we had any doubts he was the One, his performance at the Judges house when he was told by Nicole Scherzinger he was through, erased any doubt

In a cringing 2 minutes he showed himself to be the Drama Queen’s favourite Drama Queen as he wailed, cried, rolled on the floor in a display of shock, surprise, happiness, shtick and crassness. To call it over the top would be seriously downplaying it.

Rylan’s Oscar moment

If he was anointed at the Judges House, yesterday’s live show was his coronation. The “entertainers” are always given big productions, stage props, dancers and lots of glitter all purposely designed to hide the fact that the “entertainer” can’t sing for toffee.

Yesterday Rylan was given his first big production. He opened with a few seconds of Take That’s Back For Good to Gary Barlow’s initial despair, but that was just a tease it was going to get worse for Gary.

An X-Factor “entertainer” is not bound to a single song like other contestants. His or her weapon of choice is the mashup and that’s what we got, a mix of Groove is in the Heart, Gangam Style and Pump Up the Jam and the resulting attrocious concotion has been  appropriately dubbed “Rylan Style” by his fans.

A reluctant world is introduced to Rylan Style. The only highlight of that clip is Nicole Scherzinger dancing gangam stlye.

Like Marmite, it possible that some people actually love Rylan, if you are  one of those poor souls let us know.

Strictly Come Dancing…Is Denise Van Outen Cheating?

13 Oct

I don’t mean in doped up athlete kind of way, or passing a brown envelope to the Len Goodman kind of way.

She just seems many levels ahead of the other contestants and arguably this is down to her background of the reknown Syvia Young Stage School and having appeared in quite a few West End Musicals in roles that require significant dancing ability, like Chicago and Legally Blonde

Watching her tonight, only the second week in, her Jive performance was superb. If I didn’t know better I would have thought it was a dance by two of the professionals.

Do people think it right for Denise to take part? Where will her “journey” come from? She pretty much arrived as it were.

 

Denise’s 1st week dance

X-Factor USA goes old school…The Amazing Panda Ross

11 Oct

I can’t deny I do love a really good audition on X-Factor  UK or USA. While it is becoming increasingly rare on the UK version, the USA continues to deliver some serious talent. This lady is one of my favourites.

I love Sam Cooke and this cover of his song Bring It Home To Me is epic.. Plus her flirtation with Simon is very amusing.

I bring you the amazing Panda Ross bringing it home.

X-Factor ten more things you will hear over the coming weeks

6 Oct

We are now at the live shows and for the next few weeks we are going to see some great musical moment popping up between a relentless stream of cliches. To get you ready here are our top ten live show cliches to look out for

“That was not the performance of the night … that was the performance of the series.”
This makes it appearance from about the third week, but a definite one to look out for

“You know what?…”
The opening phrase “You know what” is a sure fire sign that a cliche is on it’s way. Favoured by Gary Barlow.

“The thing about you is you can really sing”
So you took them through the auditions, boot camp and the Judges Houses and you are only finding this out?

“The whole of XXXXX will be picking up their phone for you tonight”
Insert Wales / Ireland / Scotland or anywhere the judges think people are so amazed to see one of their own on TV they don’t care how good or not they are.

“I want to win this for my son/daughter and give them a better life”
At least one of the contestants will remind us that how coming on the X-Factor is the only way to ensure your kids don’t end up in some Victorian poor house.

“You made that song your own”
And Madonna, Luther, Nirvana, The Beatles are never going to get it back…ever!

“People like you are what this show is all about.”
As well as the millions in revenue from adverts, text and phone voting, the tour after the show etc…

“You look like a pop star, you sound like a pop star…you’re a pop star!”
A Louis Walsh favourite, accompanied by jabbing his pen in the air.

“You have the whole package”
Often to the better looking contestants, a reminder that they don’t have to be that good to get far.

And the top cliche of them all is a favourite of the cliche-meister that is Louis Walsh

“You remind me of a young…..”
End as a appropriate taking in to consideration their race / hair colour / weight etc.

X-Factor ten things you will hear tonight

30 Sep

…cos you hear them every bloody year at the Judges Houses

  1. “It is not good news….[dramatic pause]….it is great news!”
  2. “[With pleading puppy eyes] This means everything to me…”
  3. “[Also with pleading puppy eyes] I have wanted this more than anything…”
  4. “[Look of professional concern from years in the industry] I am not sure who will buy your records…”
  5. “[Look of professional concern from years /months /days as an X Factor judge] I am not sure who will vote for you…”
  6. “I’m sorry….[dramatic pause]….but you’ll have to do it all again in the live shows!”
  7. “You’re such a risk….[dramatic pause]….but I am ready to take a risk tonight!”
  8. “I just don’t think you’re ready…[While gently holding the hand of the rejected contestant]“
  9. “[Earnestly raised eyebrows] What does this mean to you?”
  10. “[Through tears and an occasional runny nose] This could be my last shot….”